Yes to Legal Same Sex Marriage, NO on PROPOSITION 8

      Proposition 8 is an amendment to the California Constitution that will prohibit same-sex couples from being able to obtain civil marriages. Much has been written about why this is a civil-rights issue; much has been said about those same-sex couples who are, in this brief interlude, able to get married after even decades of commitment to one another. This has all been said so eloquently and movingly, that I don't need to reiterate.

     So, I'm moving on to two "against Proposition 8" arguments I haven't heard that often.

     Some religious leaders claim that if same-sex marriages are legal, they will lose their religious freedom. First, I don't see how one person's civil rights remove someone else's. It's a self-serving argument. 

       Those who make it, ignore the reality that there are religious congregations that believe in and support same-sex marriage, and hold them in spite of the reality that the marriages are not considered legitimate in the eyes of the law. What about religious freedom for these congregations? If proposition 8 passes, these congregations are, de facto, denied the religious freedom to conduct legal weddings for those who have shown a commitment to partnership and family. 

     But a most egregious part of Proposition 8 in my view is that it's been propagated and financed by people who don't even live in our state, and what's worse, claim the same faith as me. These Christian-identified leaders, in the name of 'family', are in fact seeking to divide and conquer.

     As proof, I offer simply this: The Knights of Columbus, people from the Mormon Church, Focus on the Family, and other politically-right organizations have spent literally millions of dollars to change the constitution of California to prohibit same-sex marriage. This, at a time when families – all families—are under extreme financial stress, wouldn't it make more sense to spend those millions of dollars helping families keep their homes, get healthcare, food, school tuition, and the like? How about childcare? That would be a huge help for families, to get help with the costs of childcare.

     What will change in California if Proposition 8 does pass, and same-sex couples can't get legally married? The same-sex couples I know will stay together, raise their children together, tenderly care for one another through illness and life's ups and downs. They'll do it as they've always done, knowing that their love is a reflection of God's love, and that their commitment has to be stronger because there is opposition to it. They will also have to spend thousands of dollars in legal fees to even approach the kind of status they can get today just by obtaining a license at the County courthouse and having a wedding ceremony.

     Giving one group civil rights doesn't take away someone else's. It's just plain wrong to say so, and even more wrong to keep committed same-sex couples from having the same rights as hetero-sexual couples by spending millions of dollars that actually ought to go for direct mission to God's children who are hungry, worried about shelter, jobs, health and childcare. Focus on the Family, indeed.

 

(First United Methodist Church of Los Angeles has taken a position against Proposition 8.)

Forgive? Sure, but how? (Sermon, 9/14/2008)

Text: Matthew 18:21-35

The English word, 'against', has at least two connotations—it can mean, "in opposition", as in for instance a political contest. One candidate runs 'against' the other.

It can also mean, "into", as in "lean against me."

One is a kind of opposition, and one is a kind of joining.

When we read the words, "Sin against me," we might be thinking of someone who is in opposition to us. But in fact, the word that is translated, "against" is actually the Greek word for the preposition, "into." The word we translate, "Sin" is actually literally, "missing" as in, missing the bull's eye, or missing the mark. We could literally translate the sentence,

"How many times can I let someone miss into me?"

So, another way to think of Peter's question is to imagine someone 'sinning against' someone else, to think of that someone aiming an arrow in one direction but instead of hitting in the bulls' eye, the arrow sticks right into a person and injures them. When someone hurts us, or we hurt someone, we become linked by that trauma. Something is broken, while something is connected. Neither is a healthy situation.

Peter is willing to forgive, or literally from the Greek, 'afe-imi', seven times —this word has been translated in many ways. It can mean to divorce or banish; it can mean to dismiss; to abandon. Here it is used to mean to pardon, to forgive.

The unifying theme in all these different translations is this: Each sense of the word means to utterly abandon the current reality, AS IF IT NEVER HAPPENED.

This word, afeimi, has contradictory definitions—more on this later.

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How many times should I pardon someone who shoots an arrow into me? I think seven times is a lot. Peter was right; if you can pardon someone seven times, that is a truly large accomplishment.

But Jesus adds—no, seventy times seven.(Or, 77 times in some translations.) Take your original seven, times ten, then multiply it again by seven.

Because even forgiving seven times brings an important question. What happens on time 8?

Jesus is trying to help Peter understand that grace goes in many directions—Peter was generous to want to grant someone grace seven times. But Jesus wants Peter to understand that Peter, too, is in need of grace.

So, Jesus launches into a parable about someone whose debt was wiped away, yet that same person was unwilling to forgive a much smaller debt that was owed to him.

Of course at the end, we see the servant thrown into debtors' prison along with his wife and children…

Ok, I want to say—we get the message!! We're supposed to forgive, literally to divorce ourselves from the desire to punish the 'mark misser'; but really, when we are living in the consequences of sin, how then shall we forgive as if the injury never happened?

I'd like to suggest two pathways today, but before I get there, I want to remind each of us that as we are sinned against, so have we shot a few arrows through others (whether we've meant to or not.)

The first pathway I'd like to suggest is a kind of mental and spiritual pathway, and it is perhaps somewhat counter-intuitive. That is to say, that in order to forgive FIRST we have to fully own that we've been injured, are dealing with the consequences of that injury, and whatever that injury has done to us… but we can't stay there.

Often I've wanted to forgive, said I'd forgiven, only to find that actually, I needed more of a process than simply relying on my will.

Since I've read the parable, since I want to live as a Christian, I attempt to forgive asap. But then, I take it back. I'm still angry. Still hurting. Still wishing for ugly things to happen to that other person… So, I say I forgive, again. Then I take it back. And so on.

Sometimes you just have to live where you are for awhile, as you go through a process of learning to forgive. The important thing, I think, is to keep forgiveness as the destination.

Last week we talked about the steps of reconciliation; the ways we can work to restore community. However, there is a point of no return, and remember, this lesson on forgiving comes right after that lesson in the book of Matthew.

FORGIVENESS doesn't mean you act as if a dangerous person is safe; it's not an opportunity to pretend that someone who habitually causes harm should be allowed to carry on. It doesn't mean you have to be 'nice' to someone who is challenging you, and ignore the danger.

The second pathway I'd like to suggest is a physical one, and it comes to us from brain science—as recently as the year 2000, neuroscience has found a way to map what happens in the brain when a person experiences trauma. I spoke of this a few weeks ago, but I bring it here in a slightly different context. It's important to realize why the first path—the mental and spiritual path— must not be considered the only path.

Not all of our hurts are kept in what we think of as 'conscious' memory. Some are kept in a different part of the brain, one which informs our reactions, our ideas, and even our dreams, but we may not be able to actually remember and tell with words.

Because our memories are contained in parts of our brains that don't even use language, we have to first try to articulate our hurts to someone who cares about us. We have to be able to TELL the story, not just live in it, in order to heal and begin a process of forgiving.

Forgiveness is a complicated process—

I can give you easy platitudes, and sometimes following those platitudes works.

But sometimes banishing the person from your life and your thoughts works at first to allow an injured person to build enough of a base of strength from which to review their injuries, recover, then forgive. This would be one meaning of afeimi—to simply banish the person utterly.

I think the most important part of forgiveness is just what I said last week— Listening.

To one another's stories. To one another's assumptions. To one another's pain. Forgiving someone who has caused us pain isn't always something we can do alone. We need someone to listen to us. We can help others by listening to them.

In sharing our stories with someone who listens to us, we can actually move our memories from trauma to narrative; we can release our desire for revenge or even, for justice. We can move on without allowing the trauma to turn us into someone who injures others.

Finally, in listening to others, we can understand how our actions have injured someone else, (whether we believe something is 'our fault' or not!) and if we can receive forgiveness and allow hearts to be made whole, we have not only restored that relationship, we have allowed our brother or our sister to find a new story in the world—a more authentic and connected way of being. This would be the second meaning of 'afeimi'- to act as if the original injury was never committed. Forgiven, not banished.

If it's true that sin, "missing the mark", is what breaks us apart from God and separates us from each other; then it's the complicated process of forgiveness—forgiving and being forgiven—that reconnects us and helps to realize the Realm of God—the Beloved Community—in the here and now. Something so simple, and yet so complicated, as that, is our sacred duty to pursue.

Amen.

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From Dr. Bruce Perry, of childtrauma.org:

"All experiences change the brain – yet not all experiences have equal 'impact' on the brain. Because the brain is organizing at such an explosive rate in the first years of life, experiences during this period have more potential to influence the brain – in positive and negative ways. Traumatic experiences and therapeutic experiences impact the same brain and are limited by the same principles of neurophysiology."

And from USA Today:

The Biology of Soul Murder, Fear can harm a child's brain. Is it reversible? By Shannon Brownlee USA Today, Posted 11/3/96

"Once viewed as genetically programmed, the brain is now known to be plastic, an organ molded by both genes and experience throughout life. A single traumatic experience can alter an adult's brain: A horrifying battle, for instance, may induce the flashbacks, depression and hair-trigger response of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). And researchers are finding that abuse and neglect early in life can have even more devastating consequences, tangling both the chemistry and the architecture of children's brains and leaving them at risk for drug abuse, teen pregnancy and psychiatric problems later in life…

Yet the brain's plasticity also holds out the chance that positive experiences--psychotherapy, mentoring, loving relationships--might ameliorate some of the damage. Much remains unknown. But if scientists can understand exactly how trauma harms the brain, they may also learn much about healing broken lives…

Trauma's toll on a child's brain begins with fear. Faced with a threat, the body embarks on a cascade of physiological reactions. Adrenalin surges, setting the heart pounding and blood pressure soaring and readying the muscles for action, a response called 'fight or flight'. At the same time, a more subtle set of changes, called the stress response, releases the hormone cortisol, which also helps the body respond to danger."

God’s Impossible Task

The sermon for July 6 is called, "God's Impossible Task." The text is Genesis 24:34-67.

Abraham's servant goes back to Abraham's ancestral land to find a wife for Isaac, son of Abraham. The servant is desperate to do the right thing—to find just the right woman as a wife. So, he says to God, "This will be the sign that it's the right woman. The one who offers water to me AND to my camels is the right one."

I confess, that as an urban person in the 21^st century I have no idea the significance of offering water to the camels. As it turns out, camels can drink as much as 50 gallons at once. So, an offer to a thirsty traveler to water the camels is not like filling a simple trough. The candidate the servant seeks is a truly generous and hard-working woman who, rather than simply pointing the traveler in the direction of the well, will provide an act of hospitality.

What does this mean for us, as people on a spiritual journey? What signs have we requested from God, to let us know we are on the right path? Or have we even gotten that far? These are the questions we will explore in our church service on July 6, 2008 at our First Church Los Angeles worship service, Villa Flores Multipurpose Room, 1020 S Flower St. (enter at the back of the building)

See you in church! 10am, everyone's welcome!

LAPD CLERGY SUMMIT

Today, June 28, 2008, the Los Angeles Police Department held a summit for religious leaders. It was held to educate clergy on the problems with gang violence in Los Angeles, and how people of faith might take part in finding some solutions. After the courtesies—greetings from the mayor, invocation, etc., the first item on the agenda was a presentation on the state of gangs and violence today.

We learned that while homicides are down from the 1992 high, homicides have increased this year. We learned that gang membership sometimes gets passed down from father to son, uncle to nephew. We learned that it is more common for women to be involved in the more violent aspects of gang life than it used to be. And most distressing of all, we learned that these gangs are holding their neighborhoods hostage, with direct and brutal retaliation against anyone who reports crime to the police or who appears as witnesses against gang members in court.

But there is good news, too. A bright line of connection was drawn between the availability of living wage jobs and the ability of former gang members to get out of gang life and into successful lives.. Three trade unions: the Iron Workers, the Electricians, and the Pipe Fitters all have programs to help former convicts get their G.E.D.'s and get good jobs. The workers are proud to see the buildings they've helped to create, buildings like the new Police Headquarters.

Churches and people of faith are being invited to help with a pilot program this summer, serving meals to kids who are taking part in recreation programs being held Wednesday-Saturday nights from 4pm to midnight in eight locations around Los Angeles. When former city councilmember Martin Ludlow held such a program at a park in his then-district, the homicide rate for that summer fell to zero in that district.

The difficulties in overcoming gang violence are large, but we were reminded that most social change programs at first seem impossible to realize. The civil rights movement, for instance, was initially won by a combination of courageous action on the part of concerned people and faith leaders; laws were changed; and the new laws were enforced. As a result important changes have been realized.

The theme of the Summit was "welcoming the Prodigal Son." It was heartening to hear it from the L.A.P.D.—even gang members are people too, and they need places of welcome where they can be embraced when they are ready to change. It seems like a good foundation is being laid for positive change in our city. I pray we continue in the courage to face history, face this problem, and work together for the solutions.

 

Same Sex Marriage: State and Church

On June 17, 2008, it became legal for two people of the same gender to get married in the state of California. Hooray! The Supreme Court of California basically ruled that voters cannot simply vote away the civil rights of other people, and this is a hopeful thing.

What is difficult for me as a United Methodist Minister is that our denomination does not look at things the same way. That is to say, a majority of voters in the United Methodist Church does not look at things the same way. There is a significant minority of folks who believe that people who love one another and are committed to one another ought to be able to have that committment affirmed in marriage, whether straight or gay.

As a denomination, we've overlooked the significant contributions of our homosexual brothers and sisters in the church. For instance, when the Gay Men's Chorus of Los Angeles has its concert this coming weekend, there will be many churches bereft of their organists and choir directors. It's the proof of my oft-repeated joke: If there's a gay rapture, there'll be no music in the churches!

Composers, artists, preachers, teachers, board members, team members, faithful attenders-- Gay and Lesbian folk in the church have been part of the church's witness in so many ways.

So, why would we say to people who are baptized, raised in our congregations, and are faithful members that we would deny them the same privilege extended to others? Why lock them out of matrimony?

There are many arguments from scripture-- I've heard 'em all, and rather than rehearse all that here I will refer you to Mel White and his 'Soulforce' website. He says it all a lot better than I could. http://www.soulforce.org/article/homosexuality-bible

I am aware that other cultures among the world-wide Methodist connection have a different idea than I do. As some of the delegates from other continents stated at our April 2008 General Convention, they hang homosexuals in their country.

We in the U.S. aren't past the hateful treatment of GLBT people in our own nation, but thankfully at least it's illegal to harm them.

As a denomination, we have a long way to go in terms of gender and sexual equality.

I can only hope that the many wonderful same-sex couples and their families who serve the United Methodist Church will hang in there with us, as we struggle along.

It would not be the first time the church was given grace it did not deserve (the scars of slavery and other racial-ethnic injustices are yet to be fully confessed and dealt with), but we will not and cannot be all that we ought to be without those who are willing to wait for the United Methodist Church to catch up with God's unmitigated grace.

At First United Methodist Church of Los Angeles, we are committed to welcoming all who are willing to join us in a committment to discipleship; we are not willing to qualify anyone's membership.

As of today, we don't know the ways in which this committment will be challenged, but we know we are called to be faithful to full inclusion in the life of our church. That full inclusion means without regard to gender, race, sexual orientation, family of origin, economic status, ability, age, or ethnicity. (Did I leave anything out? If so, please add it in!)

Jesus tells us that all are invited to the table-- and so since a disciple is just one beggar telling another where to get bread, we all are equal at Christ's feast.

As for those who are not willing to hang in there with us, I say, don't leave without telling the Council of Bishops why-- and may God grant you the happiness and acceptance you deserve in the lucky congregation that is able to give you an unqualified seat in the worship service, and an unqualified wedding in the sanctuary.

Internation Women's Day: War on Terror, War on Women?

“On March 8, 1908, working women in the needle trade industry took to the streets of New York City demanding better working conditions, higher wages, shorter workdays and the overall improvement of women’s lives in this country.

These women marched through New York City demanding justice for women workers and immigrant workers; they were in fact working immigrant women…” http://www.internationalwomensday.com/

Today is the 100th anniversary of this march in New York City; the year 2011 will mark 100 years of International Women’s Day, a day of focus on the status of women worldwide.

I take today to think about the war in Iraq, to help us focus on some of the realities for women in this war.

Let's start the inquiry by looking at a New York Times article, about why young men are joining ‘insurgent groups.’

It isn’t because of religious fervor; in fact, the New York Times article is titled, “Violence Leaves Young Iraqis Doubting Clerics” (NYT, Tuesday, March 4, 2008).

To quote, “Muath, 19, a Sunni, joined an insurgent group in Baghdad last spring to help support his family.”

The article mentions that this young man, who was only 14 when the United States invaded Iraq, is the sole support for his family. He was reduced to selling calling cards on the streets of Baghdad, and joined an insurgent army because that way, he could make enough money to feed his mother and younger siblings.

It’s a very long article, but I wonder who else noticed that the plight of women and children is only between the lines.

The article is not about women and children; as I said, that is only between the lines. I am left with the following questions:

1) What happened to Muath’s father and uncles? Why is a 19 year old man the sole support of his family,

and

2) What will happen to the mother and siblings now that Muath has been arrested for his participation in the insurgent group?

The answers to the questions are not given-- in fact, the questions themselves are missing.

Yet, these questions are important ones if we are to halt the cycle of trauma and violence that contributes to ongoing conflict and war.

Let me give some possible answers, based on what I know about this subject: The mother and the children are left to their own devices.

The chances are high that they will become refugees, starve, become trafficked to other countries for labor and/or sex slavery, or else the next son may take his place in the conflict in order to provide for his mother and siblings.

Unless we begin to think in terms more complex than simply, “The War on Terror,” we are in fact perpetuating terrible circumstances for women and children. Children need adequate food, shelter, and safety in order to grow up with healthy minds, bodies, and souls. Women whose rights of self-determination are curtailed by culture or situation are not able to provide these things for children; neither are men who are conscripted to war, or imprisioned.

By ignoring their plight in favor of a less complicated and more self-serving story, we are not in fact fighting terror; rather, we are prosecuting a war against women and children, punishing the innocent and forcing them to take on violence as a means by which to simply survive.

Or perhaps worse, we are condemning them to lives of slavery and abuse.

There is no war without consequences, and we are all paying.

Let’s start asking the bigger questions, and work hard to understand the answers; let’s begin by looking between the lines, on this International Women’s Day and every day.

Ash Wednesday meditation

Today is Ash Wednesday, a wonderful yet much misunderstood day on the Christian Calendar.

The ashes, made from palm leaves, are used to mark the forehead, with the words, "From the Earth you have come, and to the Earth you shall return." This reminds us that life has a beginning and an end. Because we will not be here forever, its important to set aside time to contemplate our lives, to think about what is distracting us and keeping us from appreciating the gift of life.

The period of Lent has gotten the reputation of being a period of punishment. This designation interferes with spirituality, since punishment is, itself, a distraction. Guilt and shame are useful emotions in so much as they help us to examine where our behavior is hurting others; they are no longer useful when they dominate our spiritual practice.

Take some time today and for the next six weeks to think about what is keeping you from your spiritual practice. What do you need to live your life in its fullness, body, mind, and soul?

Then, create for yourself a realistic goal. You wouldn't run five miles the first day you start an excersize routine, for instance. So, start with something you can and will do. Write it down, and put it in a place where you'll see it. And finally, let someone you know and love know about your goal and the steps you are taking to reach it. Get some support for yourself, and share your support with someone else.

Finally, join a community of people who are on a spiritual journey. We are not perfect, but we are much better in a group than we are by ourselves!

We at First Church Los Angeles invite you to join us on our journey. We meet each Sunday at 10am, at Villa Flores Multipurpose room, 1020 S Flower St., Los Angeles CA 90015. We are an intercultural, lively, and very loving group. We eagerly await your contribution to our community!

Lent is the PERFECT time to start coming to church!



Matthew 6:19-21 reminds us of the temporary nature of earthly things:

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume and where thieves break in and steal; but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal.

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

The First BLACK WOMAN candidate for President

Shirley Chisholm was a nursery school teacher who went on to be the nation’s first Black candidate for president. She wasn’t the first woman candidate for president, but I think she was the first Black woman candidate.

I remember her only vaguely from the 1972 Democratic National Convention. My parents were registered Republican; Shirley Chisholm was dismissed as a radical.

But as an adult, the more I learn of her, the more impressive I realize she was!

From: The Women’s Hall of Fame website:
http://www.greatwomen.org/women.php?action=viewone&id=39

“Shirley Chisholm, the first African-American woman elected to the U.S. Congress, is a passionate and effective advocate for the needs of minorities, women and children and has changed the nation's perception about the capabilities of women and African-Americans.

A New York City educator and child care manager, Chisholm saw the problems of the poor every day, and in the 1950s this led her to run for and win a seat in the New York State Legislature. In 1968 she was elected to Congress from the new 12th District. There she supported improved employment and education programs, expansion of day care, income support and other programs to improve inner city life and opportunity. She advocated for the end of the military draft and reduced defense spending. “

You can also look her up on Wikipedia,

and at PBS.org: http://www.pbs.org/pov/pov2005/chisholm/

Shirley Chisholm died in January of 2005; I wonder what she would think of this particular Democratic primary! Her first book was titled, Unbought and Unbossed. I think that says it all!

Her personal power and ability to strategize was shown in the first round of votes at the 1972 Democratic National Convention. She got 152 delegates, placing fourth in the lineup (behind George McGovern, Henry “Scoop” Jackson, and George Wallace). She was a charismatic speaker; a truth- teller who did not mince words and who took responsibility to lead where she thought the nation could, and should, go.

She is one of my heros. I hope that in the current moment of history where a woman and a black man both have a viable chance to win the Presidential election, we remember Shirley Chisholm, a powerful and effective trail blazer for women, children, black people, and all Americans who care about justice.

About Change

Our Bishop, Mary Ann Swenson, requested that folks respond to her blog requesting thoughts on "change." Here are mine:

Today, we walked down Hollywood Blvd with my 8-year-old son. We were showing him the stars' names. I don't think very many young people would know most of the names we walked by, and even the symbols don't really make sense anymore.

For instance, those who got their stars for television have a little square with antennae above it; televisions now tend to be rectangular and have a cable in the back.

The stars' symbol for movies is in the shape of an old movie camera; there's a kind of Mickey Mouse Ear shape at the top of the camera, depicting the place where the film went from reel to reel. Nowadays, movie cameras are mostly digital.

Recording stars have a symbol that is the size and shape of a CD; only the tone arm (remember tone arms?) indicate that it's a small depiction of a vinyl record. Even CD's are quickly becoming a thing of the past; everyone is moving to MP3 players, like ipods or even cell phones.

Radio stars are remembered with a microphone; that symbol still works, but what about internet? How will the stars of YouTube (the ones who last more than a few minutes) be remembered on Hollywood Blvd.? And, will Hollywood Blvd be remembered on YouTube?

Johnny Grant, the honorary mayor of Hollywood, died last week at age 90 after a long, full life. My 8 year old has no idea who he was, and is certainly not concerned about his passing. You know, Woody was equally blase about Fred Astaire.

However, while we were at Grauman's Chinese Theater (where Myrna Loy's foot and hand prints left my son unimpressed, to say the least), we came upon the foot and hand prints of Jackie Cooper, made (I think) in 1935 when Jackie Cooper was aged 8. Woody discovered that his own hands and feet fit perfectly into the concrete imprints made just about 72 years ago.

Woody could imagine a boy who was something like him, who grew up, grew old, and finally died. Finally, there was something he could relate to.

I don't know if Johnny Grant or the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce thought about updating the symbols on the Walk of Fame. I don't know if they've considered adding new symbols to reflect the changes in entertainment technology now or in the future. The symbols they've used just don't work now. That era is past, and Hollywood Blvd is a relic.

Folks who think that their methods must be memorialized (as opposed to their stories, their humanity) and who work hard to keep those methods in place, will simply be outpaced.

Times have changed; Hollywood's past is irrelevant to my son. It just doesn't translate, even though it was once great. However, he was interested in seeing if his footprints matched the boy actor from all those years ago.

It's our humanity that survives, not our styles nor even our symbols. That's what I'm thinking about change.